I've had more than a few people who told me that they had decided to always expect the worst in life because when the worst happens, they won't be so disappointed with the outcome.
Personally that sounds a little self-defeating as well as bordering on the gloomy.
I'd hate to think that life has beat me down to the point that my first instinct when confronted with one of life's circumstances was to immediately begin dwelling on the worst possible outcome. If the worst does happen we have to learn to deal with it. We can't change some things no matter how bad that we want change. I always wished for a dad that would just acknowledge that he liked me. That was all that I was asking for. That's really not too much to ask for, is it?
But that paternal attention never came my way and no one wanted it more than I. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it wasn't meant to be and once I began to understand that it wasn't going to happen, I was able to get along without him. I'm not saying that I never had another problem with it or negative thoughts toward him. I just came to the awareness that his decision to live his life like I didn't exist was his choice, not mine. Knowing that really helped me. Not a total cure but definitely doable and it allowed me to have a much better opinion about myself.
When my dad died, I felt a deep sense of loss because I then knew that there was never going to be another chance for a relationship with him. He and I both missed out so much. There has been many times when I wondered if not having a dad that cared about me was part of a greater plan because there was something in me that required I feel that loss so that I would be able to keep a degree of compassion in my heart for my fellow man. Maybe I'm wrong or off base but I had to consider the possibility.
The best part of my experiences have been the way that I've raised my own son. I'm still not an overflowing compassionate person but at least he knows that I love him. That equals success to me and hopefully to my son as well.
Personally that sounds a little self-defeating as well as bordering on the gloomy.
I'd hate to think that life has beat me down to the point that my first instinct when confronted with one of life's circumstances was to immediately begin dwelling on the worst possible outcome. If the worst does happen we have to learn to deal with it. We can't change some things no matter how bad that we want change. I always wished for a dad that would just acknowledge that he liked me. That was all that I was asking for. That's really not too much to ask for, is it?
But that paternal attention never came my way and no one wanted it more than I. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it wasn't meant to be and once I began to understand that it wasn't going to happen, I was able to get along without him. I'm not saying that I never had another problem with it or negative thoughts toward him. I just came to the awareness that his decision to live his life like I didn't exist was his choice, not mine. Knowing that really helped me. Not a total cure but definitely doable and it allowed me to have a much better opinion about myself.
When my dad died, I felt a deep sense of loss because I then knew that there was never going to be another chance for a relationship with him. He and I both missed out so much. There has been many times when I wondered if not having a dad that cared about me was part of a greater plan because there was something in me that required I feel that loss so that I would be able to keep a degree of compassion in my heart for my fellow man. Maybe I'm wrong or off base but I had to consider the possibility.
The best part of my experiences have been the way that I've raised my own son. I'm still not an overflowing compassionate person but at least he knows that I love him. That equals success to me and hopefully to my son as well.
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