Should We Always Get What We Want?

I've had more than a few people who told me that they had decided to always expect the worst in life because when the worst happens, they won't be so disappointed with the outcome.

Personally that sounds a little self-defeating as well as bordering on the gloomy.

I'd hate to think that life has beat me down to the point that my first instinct when confronted with one of life's circumstances was to immediately begin dwelling on the worst possible outcome. If the worst does happen we have to learn to deal with it. We can't change some things no matter how bad that we want change. I always wished for a dad that would just acknowledge that he liked me. That was all that I was asking for. That's really not too much to ask for, is it?

But that paternal attention never came my way and no one wanted it more than I. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it wasn't meant to be and once I began to understand that it wasn't going to happen, I was able to get along without him. I'm not saying that I never had another problem with it or negative thoughts toward him. I just came to the awareness that his decision to live his life like I didn't exist was his choice, not mine. Knowing that really helped me. Not a total cure but definitely doable and it allowed me to have a much better opinion about myself.

When my dad died, I felt a deep sense of loss because I then knew that there was never going to be another chance for a relationship with him. He and I both missed out so much. There has been many times when I wondered if not having a dad that cared about me was part of a greater plan because there was something in me that required I feel that loss so that I would be able to keep a degree of compassion in my heart for my fellow man. Maybe I'm wrong or off base but I had to consider the possibility.

The best part of my experiences have been the way that I've raised my own son. I'm still not an overflowing compassionate person but at least he knows that I love him. That equals success to me and hopefully to my son as well.

Why Think Positively?

I have never understood where, when, or even how the idea of positive thinking came across my mentality. My background didn't support the concept because had I allowed my early circumstances to dictate to me how I thought, I'd probably be a negative person. Nevertheless, as a kid, I would often find myself filling my mind with thoughts and ideas that would help me to negate the reality that I was experiencing. Some people might call it fantasizing or daydreaming but as I look back I prefer to label it 'survival' because in actuality that was exactly what it had become for me. I've heard it said that whenever people go through traumatic events they often end up suffering from a split personality because they were trying very hard to better deal with what reality had given them. Did I do that? I'm not sure. Maybe I did on some level even though I know of many people that had much greater issues to deal with than I did. I've been told before that positive thinking doesn't work because it often leads a person to more disappointment and false hope but my response to that remark is, "It doesn't hurt." Given the option, I'd choose to maintain a positive outlook about my circumstances rather than to expect the worse.

While I'm thinking about it, I also have to question those that believe that positive thinking sets a person up for failure by asking them if they believe their negative thinking has been instrumental in their being able to overcome disappointment by always expecting the worse. I also wonder if their negative expectations helped in attracting negativity in the first place? Regardless of what we believe here, we do indeed have to choose, positively or negatively, how we think everyday.

Indeed, the choice is ours to decide what we focus on. We don't have to expect the worse if we don't want to. We do need to be aware that we don't always get what we want and that when our expectations are not met to be certain that it is not the end of the world. Just realizing that makes our daily life a little less hectic. So, from this point on, I'll be focusing my thoughts here on the positive.

Please feel free to leave comments. I hope that we can learn some valuable lessons in the process.